After five days in the hospital, I left with Michael and the kids for the seven-hour trip back home. I left the hospital with my MRI films and the diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis. I lived with this diagnosis until nine years later in 1995 when I had a similar episode. At that time, a neurologist looked at my MRI scans from 1986 and concluded I had a major stroke in 1986, a minor one in 1995. It was then discovered I had a blood disorder that caused clots to form. I don’t remember much about the trip home except having to throw up a lot. But, I was glad to be with my babies again even though they had a mother with a nonfunctional left side and mush for brains.
The symptoms of my illness made it difficult for me to function as I had been able to only the week before. Michael set up a schedule for me to have “supervision” throughout the day as my judgment was impaired, I could no longer read with comprehension, calculate numbers keep my balance, or even remember what the needs of our children were. I was not allowed to cross the street with the kids or go for walks with them alone. Needless to say, I felt helpless and hopeless and totally disoriented.
Unable to accept the diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis, Michael took me to a specialist at the University of Chicago. After performing a spinal tap, he concluded I did NOT have MS, but he thought possibly I had suffered with a bout of encephalitis. We liked that diagnosis better because it didn’t sound so devastating, but we still had to deal with the fact that some damage had been done and I was unable to live a normal life.
Michael’s mother came to care for me and our babies right after my return from the hospital. I don’t remember much of that first month after coming back home—only that I was very sad and frustrated. The symptom that frustrated me the most was that my emotions were crazy. My teacher friend, Pat, came to visit me and told me that her granny, who she was very close to, had died. I laughed hysterically for a half hour over the news. I knew my response was inappropriate, but I couldn’t control it. I would laugh inappropriately in church and just about anywhere I was. I also suffered with bouts of double vision. I would have double vision for 20-30 increments throughout the day. I finally learned to deal with it by closing one eye so I could continue whatever I was doing.
Michael was running himself ragged. He was trying to work fulltime, parent fulltime, and take care of me. Even with the help of our wonderful friends, we knew something had to give. Michael took me to a holistic health center for an evaluation. They felt they could help me. I started receiving weekly full-body massages for the weaknesses, hypnotherapy for the inappropriate laughing, and psychotherapy for my depression. In retrospect, this was the smartest move we could make. It took months of these therapies, but eventually I was able to function on a basic level.
I spent my time at home working hard to relearn reading and computation. Finally, six months later I was able to read a book with comprehension. Of course, as I worked to get better, the kids were getting older and each month was easier to care for them. I was still having double vision every day, but the inappropriate laughing had decreased significantly and I was slowly regaining the use of my left side. My life still brought some depression, but it was easier now that I could walk with the kids again. One of our favorite activities was to walk down to the mall and let them ride the “rides.” Our mall had a little carousel, a horse, a helicopter, and a car that the kids enjoyed riding and they each only cost a quarter.
Before the healing process started, we had a wonderful lady in our church, named Juanita, who gave me the opportunity of a lifetime one Sunday morning.
“Lori, I want to talk to you,” she said one Sunday between Sunday school and worship. “I know you have had a really rough time lately and I would like to make you an offer to pay for anything you would like to do that would bring you pleasure. Something just for you.”
Now, Juanita might have been thinking of paying for a massage, manicure, pedicure, or maybe even a cruise. I am quite sure she didn’t expect the answer I finally gave her.
“I want to learn to play the saxophone!”
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